You’re My XCOM

it's not unusual to be loved by my ray gun

(To be sung to the tune of Tom Jones and Mousse-T’s Sex Bomb.)

(oh baby… yeah, oh yeah)

Spy on ‘em, baby, use satellites
Infrared to see ‘em move through the night
Intercept and fire, splash ‘em right
Then move in for the turn-based fight

(I love a turn-based fight!)

Research the secret tech they use
Then blow away those ugly brutes
And hoard 119 tonight ’cause only Elerium can make you fly

XCOM, XCOM, you’re my XCOM
Leaping to your duty when the Sectoids come along
XCOM, XCOM, you’re my XCOM
And baby you END TURN me on

Greys don’t leave your home, ’cause I’m in the zone
The sniper’s a squadsighter and she’ll shoot you far
This flashbang’s alright, come and help me ignite
They’ll be dumbstruck by the lights

Well the Cyberdiscs explode baby, dontcha know
Supress’ em though, and they got nowhere to go
And Chrysalids are wack, don’t get too close
Or you’ll be in the zombie pack

XCOM, XCOM, you’re my XCOM
You can help secure me when I’m mired with a Muton
XCOM, XCOM, you’re my XCOM
And baby you END TURN me on

XCOM, XCOM, you’re my XCOM
I can be your Gollop if you’ll be my Solomon
XCOM, XCOM, you’re my XCOM
And baby you END TURN me on

Downin’ more and more, racking up the score
Autopsies turning them all inside out
That skeleton suit feel is the real deal (uh-huh!)
And I can boot you up at any time because you’re mine

(KEY CHANGE)

XCOM, XCOM, you’re my XCOM
You can turn things ’round when China says their funding’s gone
XCOM, XCOM, you’re my XCOM
And baby you END TURN me on

XCOM, XCOM, you’re my XCOM
Rolling out the rookies ’cause your squaddies are all gone
XCOM, XCOM, you’re my XCOM
And baby you END TURN me on
And baby you END TURN me on
And baby you END TURN me on

(Originally posted as a comment at Rock Paper Shotgun. With apologies to One Life Left’s Marioke, who are frankly much better at this sort of thing.)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *